“The biggest hurdle is rejection, be ready for it.”

John Paul DeJoria

I say, be ready for it anytime, if it’s in a relationship, work-related or any aspect of your life you face rejection, this article is to educate you further on how to handle it when the need arises. As much as I do, we all go through it at some point. Its totally sickening, awful and eventually you can move on. At least, a clear rejection is better than a fake promise.

If you have been in any relationship and you end it, it’s often hard. You still go through separation anxiety. On the other hand, just because you are the one who ended things doesn’t mean you feel good about it.

Emotions and pain and even pleasure don’t always make sense. In relationships, when you break off with someone, you feel separation anxiety and begin to yearn for the person in a weird way, even though you no longer want the relationship.

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Welcome once again readers to the inspirational, motivational and informative blog – AFFAIRS, posts on this blog are relatable. This post in particular, is to help identify our individuality and to seek personal improvements with the findings I’ve gathered.

#strongmentality

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It might not just be a physical thing, but a state of mind affair. Let’s face it, rejection hurts. It sucks to be in the position of being rejected, whiles others argue strongly that it is just protection and re-direction, we here, claim those moments you feel that rejection hurts the most, are humbling. Just don’t take it personally, no success will come without setbacks.

The way you”ll go about handling rejection is very important because it predicts the outcome of the future or how the next step is going to look like. You know Abraham Lincoln once said, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” It shows clearly to anyone who’s checking how the situation beat you down or made you stronger. The difference between a mentally strong person and someone who’s not is that mentally strong people don’t beat themselves down with words.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Your next move after a rejection determines your next step or whether you’re going to take a step at all. It becomes a crucial period when you need to make essential and credible adjustments to get you to a certain desired level. Whether it is to change your mindset, or your lifestyle, or even whether to move to a different location or whether to move on at all?…

”Discomfort always contain hidden knowledge. Pain is proof that something is out of order. Rejection is direction.”

— Bernard Avle

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There’s a school of thought, who strongly believes that rejection depends on your personality.

What we all want in this world is to find happiness. This is one of the greatest satisfaction that humans crave, so it’s not just you!

I wrote on Maslow’s Theory of Needs, where I further explained the hierarchy of needs being a motivational theory in psychology, comprising a five-tier model of human needs, often depicted as hierarchical levels within a pyramid.

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In fact, we all have our definition for happiness, and to some extents, success.

Humans are wired in a way that we adjust to favorable situations and conditions just to survive..to find happiness, to find the best and easy and shortest way to satisfaction.

Now, because you have your definition of happiness, it is highly likely your individual paths to attaining that satisfaction differ. It’s true what they say, there’s more than one way to skin a cat, ..remember?

Let’s dive head down first into WHAT PEOPLE SAID after asking around randomly, HOW THEY handle rejection and why they get rejected in the first place.

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1. Timing: Luck is an interesting word to start with, or to mention first in this space. This is because, it is highly likely that at the time of your proposal, an earlier or later choice will be made or would have been made in advance.

This may happen before you stepped in with your portfolio. It may also happen after your proposal. When maybe you realized you lost because you had bad timing, what will you do? Where will the luck be in there?

One more way to handle rejection because of bad timing is to know what you are about. Study the other person or organization; identifying their wants and needs at specific periods and work your way through those to achieve your personal why.

Ever notice how being turned down stops some people from trying again, while others bounce back from rejection stronger than before? Everyone experiences the sting of rejection, but mentally strong people use that pain to grow stronger and become better.

2. Communication: This sounds basic, but certainly. It is the major killer disease for relationships. This is the reason why relationships suffer. When you haven’t communicated well enough, the people on the other will seem scrappy to you when heeding to your instructions, when in reality it could mean you never communicated well.

So it’s best to work in teams and make sure your other team members really understand the points you make and your contributions.

Communicate clearly so that your desired outcomes are met, but you don’t have to be bossy about this.

There are three main types of communications and they include verbal, non-verbal and written communications. With all these types, the main purpose here is to let the other person or other people follow a directive, and when that is achieved, then we say you’ve communicated. ‘Are we communicating so far? Kindly let us know in the comment section below. Your comments and contributions are highly welcomed.’

Practicing a lot in team activities will serve as the basis for you to open up more. We say this because, you can be as mute as mute can be, but when you find yourself in a team and it comes to achieving a goal together, there’ll be a method of communication along the line. These team activities could include any sporting activity, reaching any goal with includes two or more people.

3. Acceptance: In fact, this is the first step to this process. It is certainly a way you can deal with an instance like rejection.

You’d first have to do nothing. Just try strengthening the quality of noticing why you think you were rejected. Simply noticing you’ve been rejected. It’s good to be aware of things happenings around you. With this, you’d be able to accept the situation more and heal yourself within before you can do anything that will show outside.

The state of being aware is significant in order to accept what a situation is or is not.

“When 10 doors are slammed in your face, go to door number 11 enthusiastically, with a smile on your face.”

John Paul DeJoria

The way you choose to respond to rejection, however, could determine the entire course of your future. You have to acknowledge your emotions here. Rather than suppress, ignore, or deny the pain, you should acknowledge your emotions. You should instead admit when you’re embarrassed, sad, disappointed, or discouraged. You should have confidence in your ability to deal with uncomfortable emotions head-on, which is essential to coping with your discomfort in a healthy manner.

Whether you’ve been stood up by a date or turned down for a promotion, rejection stings. Trying to minimize the pain by convincing yourself–or someone else–it was “no big deal” will only prolong your pain. The best way to deal with uncomfortable emotions is to face them head-on.

4. Perception / Framing: One other way to deal with rejection is to view rejection as evidence you’re pushing the limits. Mentally strong people know that rejection serves as proof that they’re living life to the fullest, in the sense that they expect to be rejected sometimes, and they’re not afraid to go for it, even when they suspect it may be a long shot.

If you never get rejected, you may be living too far inside a certain safe space. Where you can’t be sure you’re pushing yourself to limits until you get turned down every now and then.

When this starts to happen to you and you’re turned down for a project, passed up for a job, or turned down by a friend, you’ll know you’re putting yourself out there.

Framing has to do with the way you’d perceive anything…, or better still the way one says something. So one major example will be; Heyyyyy, how u doing ?? versus; Hey, how are you? Whereas they both have similar meaning notice how different each sentence look and sound when you actually say it. Yeah!, that’s how framing is done….the way you say or see things.

Before we leave this point, here’s a meme depicting how you can use framing to your advantage effectively to help you handle rejection…

5. Handling yourself: Mentally strong people treat themselves with compassion. Rather than think, “You’re so stupid for thinking you could do that,” mentally strong people treat themselves with compassion. They respond to negative self-talk with a kinder, more affirming message.

Whether you got dumped by your long-term love or blindsided by a recent firing, beating or locking yourself up will only keep you down. Speak to yourself like a trusted friend.

One person’s opinion, or one single incident, should never define who you are. Don’t let your self-worth depend upon other people’s opinions of you. Just because someone else thinks something about you, doesn’t mean it’s true.

6. Learn from your past rejection experience(s): Mentally strong people ask themselves, “What did I gain from this?” so they can learn from rejection. Rather than simply tolerate the pain, they turn it into an opportunity for self-growth. With each rejection, they grow stronger and become better.

Whether you learn about areas in your life that need improvement, or you simply recognize that being turned down isn’t awful as you imagined, rejection can be a good teacher. Just like money can be a good tool. Use rejection as an opportunity to move forward with more wisdom.

One major don’t, is to never assume isolation when you face rejection. Never!, because Princess Diana said, “There’s no better way to dismantle a personality than isolated.” It is bad to totally depend on someone or something for your happiness.

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“Never give credence to the negative side of disappointment, since heights are not achieved by sudden flights, but by total commitment, careful planning and above all the determination of accomplishing our goals.”

Anas A. Anas

I enjoy talking to you in the comments area, and I’m super thankful that you chose to be here now. So as a way to thank you, I will continue to create great pieces of content for your consumption.

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• I’m sure you found this article worth your time and worth reading. Write #strongmetality in addition to your comments. I will be excited to know that at least, some verses of this helped you in one way or the other. Share your rejection experiences with myself and others so we all can draw inspiration from it. The comment section is always a safe space to share anything. Anticipate another wonderful article to read.